I am a very determined person. If I decide on something I won’t stop until I get it. I think that’s why I’m finding this so hard. This is completely out of my control and I am helpless.
My best friends had a little boy a couple of weeks ago and all I can think is that I’m dreading having to see them. The thought of seeing their perfect little family makes me want to run in the other direction screaming ‘it’s not fair ‘.
I am so lucky to have all the things I have. A loving husband, loyal friends, supportive family, great job, beautiful home and we don’t really have money problems.
Then why do I feel empty inside?
I feel guilty that I’m not happy, that I’ve got this fantastic life but it’s not enough for me. And because I can’t have what I want I’m filling our lives up with stuff. Trips away, shows, sports events, holidays and anything else I can think of to distract me from how I really feel.
I have a new challenge, to lose some weight. At least concentrating on that has good health benefits!
Wish me luck!!